


a noble's thoughts

by Madfalldyn



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/M, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 10:04:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20289661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madfalldyn/pseuds/Madfalldyn
Summary: As is so often the case, it wasn't until Byleth vanished that Lorenz began to understand his feelings had shifted. Suddenly, the professor he had come to rely upon, to lean on for support, was gone.





	a noble's thoughts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WattStalf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WattStalf/gifts).

> Honestly surprised this is the first thing I'm posting for Three Houses but Lorenz is great, I'm a big fan.

For Lorenz Hellman Gloucester, most flirting is a lark. The young noble is infamous among the commoners attending Garreg Mach, known for being a relentless flirt who will immediately after make some excuse, and leave. Commoners are, of course, not worth his time. Whether they be beautiful, charming, it makes no difference. A noble has certain responsibilities, and marrying to further his family's influence and prestige is one of many.

So, while his interest was piqued by the news that the Golden Deer house would be taught by a new professor, one with no experience teaching whatsoever - a mercenary of common birth - he didn't think much of it. Obviously his preference was toward Professor Hanneman, or if not him, Manuela, but he had faith that those in charge of the Officer's Academy would not choose someone incapable of meeting their standards.

~X~

Time would prove that Byleth can more than handle her responsibilities. And, as something as a shock to Lorenz, she is quite beautiful as well. Naturally, she is a commoner, and not worth any  _ real _ consideration, even were she not his professor. What's more, she seems to struggle to understand the burden his nobility places upon him! Whatever ridiculous conspiracy has led to rumors of his behavior, he doesn't ever consider worth crushing. 

Still, he supposes Byleth has some noble sentiments of her own. The way she takes on the burdens of others, going to lengths far beyond what her position entails is not so different from the way nobility should defend and assist the commoners under their charge. He can't help but admire that about her, and it certainly draws him in. Still, acting nobly and being a noble are two very different things. Though he may now recognize Byleth as something of a kindred spirit, he could never develop anything further than that. He has his station to consider, after all.

~X~

As is so often the case, it wasn't until Byleth vanished that Lorenz began to understand his feelings had shifted. Suddenly, the professor he had come to rely upon, to lean on for support, was gone. Of course, there was no doubt in his mind that Byleth had survived in some way. Terrible as the Battle of Garreg Mach had been, he had witnessed the enigmatic professor slice through the very fabric of the world, returning after being cast out. He had followed her flawless command time and time again, and come to rely upon her constant guidance.

There was simply no way she could be gone. He knew in his heart that she would return, and that thought was oddly comforting to him. He would wait for her inevitable return. Through whatever horrors the coming war would throw his way, he would wait. The Leicester Alliance did not fare well through the next five years, with the Kingdom suffering similarly. The Empire was far too inexorable of a force, and Edelgard’s efforts to unify the continent were backed by relentless support, both from former allies and mysterious powers. But, still, Lorenz did not lose hope. Even were the worst to happen, the Gloucester family would survive under his father’s cunning guidance, of that he was sure. But he was also sure that Byleth would return. Time passed, but his faith never once faltered. 

Nobles are meant to be faithful. To follow the teachings of the Church of Seiros, and to believe in the goddess that bestowed upon them both their Crests and their responsibility to the common folk. Lorenz time and again struggled with his faith, thinking it best to do his best to feign the practices demanded of him. He would meet in church, he would pray, but somehow it always felt empty. Even in the halls of Garreg Mach, the seat of the Central Church’s power and the archbishop herself, it was difficult to find his faith. Still, he struggles with such antiquated teachings, though he would never allow Claude the satisfaction of knowing that.

But Byleth. Byleth is someone he can have faith in. It isn’t mindless religious fervor, though the church was left in her hands. There was just something about her, the changes she underwent, the calm constant strength of her presence, and the easy way she guided he and his classmates. He always thought there was something noble in her countenance, but perhaps it was something else. Not something noble, but something divine. Still, his thoughts on the subject change nothing. He would simply have to wait, and hope.

~X~

Time drew out long and slow, like some great sword being slowly pulled from its scabbard. A sword that, given enough time, would likely be pointing at the throats of all who opposed Edelgard and the Empire. It wasn’t difficult to see, and Lorenz felt the pressure as much as anyone. Even as an Alliance noble officially aligned with his father’s stance of cooperation with the Empire, he felt a certain pressure. An urgency. As if there was something pressing he should accomplish, but nothing came to mind. He knew from correspondence that his former classmates were in similar positions. All waiting, and all watching. But as the fifth year of Byleth’s absence came to a close, they all recalled a certain conversation. A promise. A reunion.

Lorenz isn’t usually the type to go against his father’s will. At least, not openly. But there was some part of him that knew he must be present at the monastery on that day. That if he was to miss it, he would regret it forever. That even the slightest chance of being reunited with Byleth was well worth any risk that might come with it. He thought not of her status as a commoner, only that he had to see her again. The depths of his feelings were unknowable, especially to him.

~X~

Of course, Claude had arrived first. Claude was the one who greeted her. But Lorenz liked to think that didn’t mean much. They had all showed up after all, had they not? Who arrived first mattered little in the grand scheme of things, he was simply glad their reunion had gone so smoothly. That his class had come together once more, and that their professor had returned to them after such a long absence. Somehow, she did not look a day older. Rumors, and the former mercenary herself, would claim that Byleth slept for the entire five years she was absent. While hard to believe, Lorenz had no doubt it was true. 

The noble only wished he had somehow found her, woken her up before that time. To put an early end to their waiting, to this war, of course. But also… to speak with her. Some part of him wanted that more than anything. Even now that they’ve taken back Garreg Mach, and fallen back into their old lives, preparing for the inevitable conflicts to come, he wishes he could just speak to Byleth openly. There is an ardent desire which fills his heart, but one he can’t pin down. No matter how intently he thinks on the subject of Byleth, nothing seems to fit.

His isn’t the blind devotion of a disciple, nor is it simply friendship. He wishes to follow her, and follow her anywhere, but he cannot decipher why. Of course, his ambitions are still at the forefront of his mind. To work his way up in the Alliance, to surpass his father, to become the greatest noble of all, spoken of in legends and history alike, but… it isn’t an alignment of goals, either. He can almost sense that, even if things had played out differently, he might find himself following his enigmatic former professor. But he did not know what to make of that. 

Lorenz is not a man accustomed to hesitation, or doubt. As a noble, he has no right to such harmful feelings. His actions should be swift, and absolute. And yet… he finds himself at a complete loss. If he cannot decipher the purpose behind his actions, how can he advance? Why is it that he follows Byleth? Why does he seek her out, whenever he feels lost? Naturally he can’t expect an answer on such personal feelings from his usual source of guidance. It is a frustrating distraction, considering the current state of Fódlan, and one which he cannot direct ample attention towards. A battlefield is not the best place for introspection, and the noble would be seeing plenty of them in the coming months. 

~X~

Despite having little time for introspective thought, the combat that the former Golden Deer students were embroiled in still gave Lorenz a certain sense of clarity. No battle is without its losses, and the noble became aware of many things he would rather not lose. The prestige and honor of being a noble was, of course, foremost among them, but… there was something else that came as a total shock to Lorenz. He did not want to lose  _ her _ , not again. He had come to realize just how irreplaceable Byleth was during her five year absence, and now, relying on her guidance once more, perhaps even more than before, he found the idea of losing her terrifying. 

He knew it was unrealistic to expect her to be part of his life forever. How could she be? Surely she would go on to accomplish even greater deeds after this war, while he would step out from her guidance to accomplish his own feats, his inevitable leadership of the Alliance being only the first step on his path to greatness. Ah, but if only they could stand side by side, just like some heroic couple, from an ancient story... 

At that thought, his heart skipped a beat. A couple. That’s exactly how he had thought of her, without hesitation. A couple, he and Byleth. He could hear the derision in his father’s voice, spend his life with a mere commoner? With no title, no lands, and no influence? Of course, that last point would be fairly easy to counter, considering the great number of Lords from all over Fódlan that already heed Byleth’s counsel… 

Again, he is shocked. Already, he is coming up with arguments to convince his father of his choice? Granted, they may not be on the best of terms, but it goes against the very idea of nobility which he holds so dearly. But does he truly feel the same way he once did? He realizes now, upon thinking of it, that his efforts to find a suitable wife ended years ago. Perhaps it was only the war, pushing such thoughts from his mind, but… he’s never been that easily dissuaded. No, it must be something else. Some _ one _ else, in fact.

Byleth. All he can think of is her powerful presence, quiet yet unwavering. Despite being a commoner, she has never shied from telling him what she thinks, from issuing him orders, or asking for help. And, surprisingly, he’s never been bothered by that. It’s a heavy blow, to suddenly realize the depths of his feelings amidst such a horrific war. Lorenz cannot simply back down now, however. No, once he sets his mind on something he can’t deny himself. After they’ve put an end to the fighting, and he  _ knows _ that with Byleth’s guidance and his prowess, the end is inevitable, he will speak to Byleth. 

He’ll let her know just how mistaken he was, and how much he can’t bear the thought of being without her. There’s a certain unwavering confidence in the back of his mind, assuring him that she will return his affections. How could she not? After all, he is Lorenz Hellman Gloucester! Still, everything would have to be perfect… Immediately, he began planning his approach to proposing to the professor he has come to love, imagining counters to his father’s complaints, and the wedding to come. To him, it is all an absolute certainty.


End file.
